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I had an amazing dream that this young production assistant told me that he was working on a production of “A View From the Bridge” with Dustin Hoffman and wanted me to play the young ingenue. I, of course, said yes and he said he’d see what I can do. Even in my dream I had the acting clout of a fish in tank at a Chinese buffet restaurant in North Carolina.
But I got it! I got the job. It was D-Hoff, some crazy lady, and me as an Italian American family in the earlier part of the 20th century. It was going to be my broadway debut.
Well, I woke up.
6am
Another day at the grind.
Theatre is safe.
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It’s art, really. Im conflicted on the title because i dont know from whose eye im looking at it through…title choices so far are “Going Alone” “Well Well We Meet Again, Amigo” or “The Guard”
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Fuck you, puta!
Seriously, why doss every MTA woman have to be a bitch. Why? If you don’t like working in that shitty box (and I don’t blame you) DONT WORK THERE! But don’t add hate in your life and mine by being a bitch! MTA dudes are never as much of an asshole as the woman. I want to interview with the MTA just to see if I act like a total cunt, who can’t speak into the microphone correctly or ever know what’s going on with the trains, they would hire me.
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Hit it
When I was a kid, my brothers little league football league would have a carnival type thing in the winter, with a huge bonfire, a lot of greasy Mexican and America food, and every year they’d also buy a shitty car from some car pound for super super cheap. And they’d have a wooden and metal baseball bat you could pay $5 for 3 swings at the car. People would line up for that the most pu of anything just to destroy it. I’d pay my entire savings for some super good swings right now. Wouldn’t you.
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Smoking fatty
I have a gripe. I saw a two ladies walk out of a gym. A young average build one and an older fatter one. I say fatter cause thats what she was. They were both sweaty. And the younger mb girl lights up a cig to which the fatter woman scolds in a Hispanic accent of some sort “you juz workout and you smoke?!? That don make sense.” I didn’t stay to hear the rest of the convo but I was so angry! I wanted to turn around and get Latina on HER! latina like I always wanted to be but ne’er was and say “fuck you! Fuck you, you fat bitch! No one asked your opinion, you’re not a Headline News commentator! You’re a fat bitch who is trying to slim down like the rest of us! Just because this girls vice is in front of you doesn’t give you right to judge it! We can’t follow you to your house and make you feel bad for that extra serving of platanos or fried arroz. So fuck you for taking that unfair advantage.
Love in the time of war
I really wanted to get romantic with boyfriend last night. He asked if I wanted to watch a movie and I said yes thinking eventually we wouldn’t be watching it. We picked Glory, that civil war movie with Matthew Broderick, Carry Elves, Morgan Freedman, and Denzel Washington. I was into the movie but still more into gettin down. Then I thought if I get sexy right now, Dan will think either the civil war, Matthew Broderick, Carry Elves, or Morgan Freedman turn me on…The last thing I need is a candlelight dinner with the options of Farris Bueller, The Bucket List, Robin hood: Men in Tights, or Shenandoah to get freaky to.
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Good lookin
I’m always slightly insulted when I wear a skirt and makeup and people say “Oh WOW, Kim, you look so different.” I mean for my job, I’m usually in workout clothes but it’s not THAT different, is it? I mean I didn’t transform from a MAN. I don’t have a huge bulge in my crotch, harry arms, and a five o clock shadow when I’m in my gym clothes. My hairs just pulled back and I have no makeup…. - I liked that I assumed my bulge would be huge.
Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with a rock star who was really classy looking but he kept changing races, like one minute he was a white dude, then puerto rican, then black…etc. He was desperately trying to seduce me but I just wanted to hang. I started thinking in my dream “oh my GOD! This looks awful! If my boyfriend sees this he’s gonna think I’m cheating on him!” so I bolted out of there. Then I woke up in real life and my boyfriend was sleeping on the couch. I woke him up really abruptly because I was I was afraid he was mad at me for hanging out with that douche bag rocker dude. But he was just sleeping under the cool fan. Thats when I realized that I actually never hung out with any race-changing rocker. Happy about that but sad I didn’t really meet a dude who changes races like a Clairs mood ring. How cool would that be?!?
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